Wednesday 25th April

Got up had breakfast, banana, yoghurt and muesli or as my mother said "muelsie". Its Yeltsin's funeral. I wrote to him once, years ago when there was some argument in the Kremlin about what to do with Lenin's embalmed body. I suggested that he could sell it to me if he wanted to for £500 so I could enter it for the Turner Prize. I got no reply. Now he's dead the Kremlin won't have to pickle him, he's pickled enough!

Time to go to Wollaton leafleting, I wish Mandelson was around to give me a hand with my campaign in repayment for what I did for him back in 1997. (double click the letter above) My friends are most upset, they're blaming me for having a hand in Blair's 1997 victory.