Monday 30th April

Get up and have breakfast, porridge! Go leafleting in Wollaton with some “Lesbian Elvis” leaflets plus “Blair-Cameron” flyers. I shove one of them through the Catholic priest’s letterbox on Bramcote Lane. They’re experts on buggery that lot, I wonder if I'll get his vote? Go to the Admiral Rodney for a pint. A bloke’s read my Wayne Rooney flyer and says he’s going to vote for me. Well that’s two votes! Watch out ye True Blue thoroughbreds, the Red Elvis Nag may spring a surprise yet on the home straight!